Lean 1 Shake

I was bored so I wrote what do you think?

I slowly sulks in class, my head and my arms folded across my chest. I take my place trying to make myself as small as possible. It comes with a witty comment waiting for my usual answer, but when I say nothing, I feel his eyes on me like the sun on the sandy desert.
He said my name in question. However, I do not answer, but when the consciousness of his gaze becomes too much, I look up hoping null sentiment. I watch his eyes widen just enough to be noticeable, as it takes my eyes bloodshot and my cheeks streaked with black. My smile now usually always present behind the bars of iron which can be broken. He looks into the lifeless eyes looking for the girl he knew. I shake my head and look back at the table because I know she is gone and not coming back. Life had taken for a ride and thrown out of the car, leaving him nothing more than cuts and bruises.
It does not say more, but from time to time his eyes to find me. The bell rings not a moment to soon. I jumped from my seat to throw my bag on my shoulder and race through the door before someone is still in their seats. I go to a distant corner of the mass of people. Taking a deep breath, I leaned back against the brick wall slowly faded and I even closer to the ground.
It is not exactly discreet about his approach, but I do not know anyway. Open mouth, he struggled for something to say, but it closes as it is at a loss for words. Instead I am surprised it wraps an arm around my shoulders, pressing me in reassurance.
I'm afraid of frightening, but at the same time I can not stop the hot tears burning his eyes until they overflowed. My shoulder presses his face into my tears staining his shirt. His other arm lock me up and sits there, holding me while I sobbed, knowing nothing, but at the same time completely understanding. He is my best friend.

The first thing I have to say is that you have beautiful similes and metaphors there. The second thing I have to say is that these metaphors and comparisons are hampered by the setting of a beautiful crystal clear picture in my head because you do not describe the necessary elements and you could, like the boy or classroom. This can easily be solved by placing a description of a few words here and there, like when you say that the eyes are looking at your character like the sun over the desert, you can describe your eyes, saying, for example his chocolate eyes looked. Another thing you need to work on the show ", do not tell" rule. It is, instead of telling "it says my name in question" could be teased out. Do not let your narrator simply tell the reader what is happening. Let the reader look, if that makes sense.

In addition, make sure to watch your grammar and dash. I do not know if it is not indented because it's just on Yahoo, my computer does not let me indent when I am asking a question, Idk about someone else. :)

After that, you have the true gold! Love love your writing style, full descriptions, just make sure you concentrate on describing the most important parts so you can soar says its full potential and create a clear and shimmering in my head. Keep working!

Wow. This is really good and amazing for a 15 year old. I like your comparisons in particular "I can feel his eyes on me like the sun on the sandy desert. You used the syntax impressive, I was speechless. Good luck and I hope you pursue writing more in your future.

I love it! That's incredible. Keep writing!

I hate it, its terrible, stop writing!